It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
