dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
