I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
