speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
