now i know why i became what i already was.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The struggles of a small town man whore
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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