I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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