There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize