would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
