My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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