it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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