oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
