ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
