is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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