You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
