You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
