I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You made out with two different species that night
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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