I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
