I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize