I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize