We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
