Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
two words...techno handjob
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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