he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
