its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
