Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize