This girl is more easily done than said...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
