if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
