Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
