Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
