question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
pray to the hookup gods
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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