Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
