so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We need to get me chipped asap
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
