he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
