Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Randomize
