Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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