Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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