Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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