"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
