Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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