K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
