You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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