He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
