shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
