remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
