I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I looked at my own cervix.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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