Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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