called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
