well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
