Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
