Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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