He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize