Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
