real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
