Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
