Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
