I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize