I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
