is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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