He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
