Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
