so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
